Another - What Would You Say.....Do.....Text?

This past September we gave SuperStar a cell phone - I probably blogged about it - in fact I am fairly certain I have said something or another about how she has a twisted sense of what to text about and when to text......but this blog isn't about that - although there is a thought provoking one coming.

This blog is about MY cell phone. See when we gave SuperStar a phone we upgraded my phone too. I had a pay as you go phone. It worked fine, but I had gotten to the point of being in so many groups that I was using it more and more and paying more for minutes then a regular plan with the extra phone for SuperStar would have cost us a month (we don't have a data plan so our costs are relatively low). I have to admit that I was excited about getting a phone that I didn't have to say "hey I am paying for these minutes, can you please get to the point?" when I was talking with someone...........because let's face it my friends - some of you all ramble on and on (and yes that is the pot calling all you kettle's out).

When we got the phones we played with them - SuperStar more successfully, but still fun.

And I kid you not......the FIRST DAY that I had my brand new phone I received a phone call for the previous owner - ACK - who wants to field calls for someone that used to own the phone? Worse yet - it was a COLLECTION call!! 2 in the first day. And the companies didn't sound like they believed that I was not the person they were asking - who funny enough was named BJ!! Thought I was going to say HalfPint? Yeah, no.......BJ......great right? Barney's little friend used to own my phone (come on - get your mind out of the gutter - this is a family blog ;0) ).

The next few weeks I received many many many many collection calls. Some from the same few companies who promised over and over and over to take the number off their call list (and never did) and some from random companies. It was a true treat.

I also got a few calls from the Diabetic society. Who also didn't believe me. One day the woman asked at least 5 times if I were really sure there was NO ONE in my home who had diabetes. I assured her we did not, but to give us 10 years and call back. They gave me 2 days and called back.

So last night we were driving home from Christmas Caroling at a retirement village with our schools Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. I got a text from a number that I did not have in my phone. It said, "Do u have any ideas for BigGuy for Christmas?? He need new boots or coat to wear around the barns?" Now this was different - not a collection agency - not the diabetics - just a number I didn't know who knew BigGuy. Nice change. But STALKER came to mind since I didn't know the number and they knew my husband.

Weird - we don't have a barn - and they wanted to buy BigGuy a gift. Who was this? I felt badly that I didn't recognize the number, so instead of admitting it I went fishing......."My BigGuy?" I asked.
"Yeah.....I don't know any other BigGuys's. Hahaha how u feeling?" they responded.

Hmmmm.......I have a really really bad cold - I think it might be turning into a sinus infection. This is totally someone I know. I would feel badly admitting I have no clue who they are.......so I responded with, "Well you threw me off with the barn & boots - why are you wanting to get him a gift - isn't he on the naughty list?"......I was thinking maybe it was one of his BS's. I added, "You really don't know any other Daves" and they said, "Not that I would buy a gift for......hahaha"...........

Hmmm......so I asked, "Why are you buying him a gift?" to which they responded, "For Christmas and bc we love him." ........sweet.......maybe it is a female stalker.........so I thought I should find out for certain who this was and said, "I need to put you in my phone - how do I spell your name?"

Then the person said, "BJ this is PumpkinHead (not her real name), your daughter in law." I texted back, "That is awesome, my oldest kids is 11, but my husbands name is BigGuy - oops - we don't have a barn - have a great holiday!".........then it hit me - wait she means BJ.......the collection callers from hell focus person.......BJ!! after a few other texts I sent, "Wait were you trying to get someone by the name BJ SuperStar?" (if you know SuperStar's real world name you get the reference. And they responded, "Yes, who is this?"........so I sent my real name and let her know that I get tons of calls for BJ SuperStar all the time - and she never texted me back.

BigGuy says that I should let her know that her mother in law is being searched for. I really really really do not like the collection calls I am still getting still 4 months later............

What would you do? Would you start forwarding the calls to BJ's family? Or ask the daughter-in-law how to get a hold of BJ.......or just keep fielding collection calls from rude people who think I am lying to them?

Occassionally I am the one making the Blunder

I post every once and again about being disappointed that someone has made a racial/social/personal blunder in my world. Honestly I know that I also post about things that I do myself that are Blundery.......but sometimes I amaze myself when they are back to back - Blunder Annoying Me - to - Blunder I Make .......generally if I am experiencing a blunder I can catch my own from happening.

This time I didn't.

So TheKing wants to have a birthday party to celebrate how fabulous he is and have people bring gifts showing him their adoration. Don't we all? You don't? Well them I am guessing that you are Jehovah Witness. Anyway that can be an entire other blog - back to the birthday adoration - this year TheKing wants a Curious George party. No biggie you say? Yes, well then I am guessing you are a white person.

TheKing is 4 - TheKing loves Curious George - it would seem fair that TheKing should have a Curious George party. TheKing is African American though. I mention TheKing's birthday party theme wish to a friend........she stares at me in horror and says, "You can't do that."

I know she is right - but it seems not fair - birthdays are about having it "your way". Since it seems not fair I ask another friend (you should know these friends are African American - and another friend who has adopted a son from Ethiopia as well - so I have 3 people weighing in on this). She takes a more sympathetic/empathetic stance - knows that I know what I am asking and that I am aware of the negative stereotypes attached to this theme. I start crying - she hugs me - all is good - but it is confirmed........no Curious George party. Not a good idea. I am told that any black parent who comes to the party will be offended and that basically when TheKing is older he will look back and wonder what the heck his parents were thinking.

TheKing and I talk and he changes his mind - no, we didn't talk about the subtle stereotypes and racist imaging that is causing the theme to change - more we talked about having a magician instead and maybe a Curious George party another time.

Where is the offensive blunder? Well there wasn't one.........but as TheKing would say "Keep it in your head" that I just went through this experience of race sensitivity.....

two days later........

TheMan is getting ready to go to a birthday party (hey, maybe the real problem in the world is all these birthday parties?! Get rid of birthdays and it is all good.). TheMan needs a birthday card to go with his gift. TheMan is too lazy to make the card like his sister would......hint hint if you are reading TheMan. So BigGuy asks if there are any cards that I have stashed to use with the gift. I go in search of an appropriate card - not too "little kid" - not too "girly" - not too "dorky". Find one - it seems perfect - safari like which will match a boy thing - has a zebra on it which is kinda cool - and I bring it up to BigGuy who looks at it and says, "You can't do that".

Why not you ask? Well the birthday boy has a white parent and a black parent. Negative stereotype imaging again. Will it seem like a big deal to me? No. To the birthday boy? Probably not yet as he is a little young. Would his parents notice? Maybe. Is it worth risking feelings? Absolutely not.

I go downstairs and dig another card out of my stash. Blunder outside of the house averted - but I am disappointed in myself and a bit amazed that I missed it. Is this over thinking? White Privilege would say "yes" I am over thinking it........but when was White Privilege ever right?

I Didn't Date 100 Guys for No Reason....

So SuperStar is now in Jr. High. I now know why parents cry when their child enters Jr. High. Before now I thought they cried because their kiddo's were getting older and that meant that time was slipping away..........in the hour glass that is our life.........

Now I know the Truth.

The Truth is that as a child enters Jr. High they begin to morph into this being that is more independent (good right?).......more sure of themselves (ahhhhh.....part of the time at least).......more likely to throw me under the bus of understanding (totally)........what do I mean by that?

Let's see - how to explain - ummmmm - well - errrrr

In Elementary school SuperStar believed that the world was fair - that homework was easy - that getting straight A's was just "who she was" - and that I knew most everything. So if she had a question about the world around her she came to me (or BigGuy - who at that stage in her life was also seen as Brilliant). We gave her the answers she needed and she skipped away reassured that life was good.

In Jr. High......ah - not so much.

Is she still an A student - yes - is the world fair - not nearly as much as it was in the past - is homework easy - well, yes, when she isn't crying due to the stress of having to get it ALL done - are BigGuy and I still BRILLIANT? - not a chance (although I think she still at least considers our input before dismissing it).

Recently SuperStar had her first crush. Okay, not her FIRST crush - really it was the same crush she has had for 2 years now - same boy - same crush - same same same. Only this time he asked her to "go out" with him. After some teasing about it from him that is.

Here is why I am a totally lucky mom - She Talked To Me About It Through The Whole Thing - she let me read texts - she let me read face book chats - she let me hear her thoughts - she talked to me about the whole thing.

Here is why I was not such a lucky mom - She Believes That I Know NOTHING About Romance - or any other kind of a relationship with a crush target.......

"It is totally different now" I was told. So I explained to her exactly how she felt............remember that feeling - the person you are crushing on is in the hallway at school - you can see that person - you are trying not to look, but you have to look to see if he/she is looking at you.....and OH MY GOODNESS if they are looking at you your head spins a bit and your stomach gets all fluttery and you can't help but giggle a bit and blush........and you know she said that is EXACTLY how she feels.

So I DO understand - right? Wrong.

I can't possibly understand. Or so SuperStar believes. She even said she wished she had a sister or a cousin who lived near by that could really understand how she feels and talk to her about it. I didn't date 100 guys for no reason.........it was total research so that I could talk to my daughter one day and commiserate no matter what the "romantic" situation she fell into......it was absolutely NOT because I was boy crazy and said "okay" every time some guy asked me to go on a date - or because I was hungry and needed a free meal. Yet here I stand after all that research and I have No Clue What So Ever as to how SuperStar feels.

The way I see it - the only difference between my romantic Jr. High life and SuperStar's romantic Jr. High life is that when her crush asked her to "go out" it was in a face book chat - and when my crush asked me to go out it was in a note that read like this:

Will you go out with me?

Circle One

Yes No Maybe

What was the "Maybe" about anyway? Now a days hand writing a note is considered too personal.........no cyber no love. How archaic that we would WRITE our questions down - pass it to another person and then ask them to give it to our crush. In the modern world they now text the person sitting next to their crush and ask them to ask the person if they like them and then wait for the answer via text. Yeah, that is sooooooooooooo different. Whatev's (as the cool Jr. High kids say these days).

So I know why those parents are crying when their Jr. High student climbs the bus or jumps out of the SUV that first day of 6th grade........it is because things are changing........their student is about to believe that they are not the center of the universe anymore.......and dating 100 guys was really for no reason at all........except maybe actually for a free meal.