Seriously......What Would You Say?

So you are standing having a conversation with a person that you have talked to various times over the course of more then a year, but less then two years. Hardly know them. Not trying to get to know them better......not avoiding it either........just not soliciting it.

They ask how many kiddo's you have. With your youngest child - who is adopted - and is clearly of a different race - standing next to you.........well not really standing - more like tripping over himself and dancing, skipping and making a mockery of balance.

Getting back on track - they ask you how many kiddo's you have. You say you have three. They say, "Are the other ones yours?"

Ahhhh......are my kids mine? Wait.......they mean are my OTHER kids mine......which means that one of my kids ISN'T mine.....which one isn't mine? Probably the person asking (not very tactfully I might add) is meaning the one making a mockery of balance in front of me.

So I say, "Yes, ALL my children are mine." And give the person a sweet smile.

Not to be defeated apparently the person then asks how old the others are. I tell the person. They asks again if "the older kids are yours?"..........sigh.........so I ask, "Do you mean are they adopted?" The person says "yes".......so I say, "No they aren't adopted." Which is true, my oldest kids are not adopted. I also point out that regardless of adoption a child is a parents child 100% - which the person readily agrees with.

However, that doesn't really answer the question the person is digging for and I know it. But the person is asking so rudely (see I am an upfront straight forward kinda girl) that I can't let them off the hook that easily - the person has basically said that adopted children are not "real" and is saying that my adopted child is not my child - which is wrong even if it is not what they meant to infer.

Say what you Mean and Mean what you Say.

Then the person says something about wondering if the child in front of us who is tripping on the level floor looks like his father. Sigh......well I could technically tell the person that "yes, my youngest does look like his father." without mentioning that in my head I mean his biological father. But I am tired of this game. I am tired of this digging. I am bored with the insensitivity.

I say, "You have met his dad a few times over the years. He is pretty tall, sandy blond hair and white." The person doesn't remember meeting my husband. Not surprising - I think the person really only noticed me last week when they kinda accused us of taking another child's kite - which was actually our kite and the person was mistaken. No biggie.

The person has their answer. My youngest is adopted. The person can move on.....maybe thinking things that I don't want to know about.......maybe not......hopefully thinking about the answers I gave in "every child a parent has is 100% their child - regardless of who did the creating".

Good Bad Luck - Forgotten Blog

SO HERE IS A BLOG THAT I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT.......TOTALLY!! APPARENTLY I WROTE IT AND THEN I WALKED AWAY FROM IT AND FORGOT TO SPELL CHECK IT AND POST IT.

THAT SAID - IT IS A FEW WEEKS OLD, BUT STILL WORTH A POSTING - RIGHT?

Very often I see people on Facebook complaining about the negative things that happen in their life. Yes, I also see people post about the positive things too, but honestly there tend to be more negative posts or posts about crazy things that bug people.

Yes I really do like to know when a friend needs some extra support. Also - I get that posting frustrations on Facebook are a nice "letting go" way of putting the feeling out of their own life and move forward. I get it. Sometimes I even do it. I also understand that for some people the obvious autonomy that Facebook offers (you can say it, but not have to look anyone in the eye while doing it)them makes them feel safer saying things out loud.

I get it.

Last week I found myself doing the opposite though. I decided to post that I was happy that even my bad luck was good luck.

* Tripped and almost dropped a cake that I was getting ready to decorate - but didn't drop it and didn't have to rebake it - good luck.
* Dropped a container of pirouette cookies that I was using and bashed the container - broke all, but 5 of them. I needed only 4 = good luck.

Then I was able to add -
* BigGuy's truck needed work that we were pretty sure would cost a chunk of dough - he had avoided fixing it for a good 10 months - we argued about it - all yuck stuff - then he took it in and it cost $65 to fix = good luck.

So bad luck - good luck - I am happy to have Bad Good Luck or Good Bad Luck - depending on how you want to look at it.

Apparently I should have kept my mouth shut......because this is how this week has gone -
* Monday.......well that was the day that the truck was fixed for $65 - not bad, but it was bad luck that it needed to be fixed - good luck that it was fixed cheap.

* Tuesday.......no meetings!! yea!! then I noticed TheMan scratching his head - and my head itched too......couldn't be......Yes It Was......Lice. Total Bad Luck. We spent the REST of the evening washing/rinsing/medicating/rinsing/combing hair - bagging stuffed animals - stripping beds - washing sheets - x's5 just to be sure.

* Wednesday.........followed up on the rest of the cleaning after the lice stuff - ugh. Then I finally calmed down a bit. I knew I was sick, but I didn't realize how sick I really was. Turns out I was REALLY SICK!! So I laid on the couch for the remainder of the day - except during piano lessons (which are in the living room) - I moved to the bedroom for a bit then, but it was so sunny in there (normally something I LOVE about my bedroom) that it made my headache double.

* Thursday.........woke with a fever - followed up on my plant to go to the doctor - took TheMan with me since he has been coughing for 2 weeks now. He had bronchitis (but was toward the end of healing - still ='s meds). I had a sinus infection and bronchitis starting. Great. Went to get meds before taking TheMan to school. His meds - $10 - my meds $130!! I got in the van and sat to think - which was hard because I had a terrible sinus headache and it was sunny (where is the rain when you wish it?). I was a bit freaked out - what is our insurance for anyway? Called BigGuy - he calmed me - called the pharmacy and asked if I could return the meds. Yes. Went inside to return them. Went back to the car to call the doctor to ask for a new script......only I had locked the keys in the car. The last time I locked the keys in the car was pre-kids during a float trip with BigGuy's friends and our (his) beer was in the trunk and we were 2 hours away from a town that could come to open the car. BigGuy was not happy.......I became OCD about checking and rechecking where my keys were after that. Dang sinus headache. We waited for BigGuy and TheKing to end swim class and come open the van. Peeking in I saw that I could just kinda see the number for the doctors office. Called and had the script changed. We waited. By the time everything worked out I was exhausted. TheMan was able to convince me to keep him home from school to "help" with his little brother TheKing.

Now let's review their "self-proclaimed" names - TheMan - TheKing - you can guess how well they listen to each other. Individually they are FABULOUS - left to work things out on their own - well.........they are brothers. I blame the headache for my lack of judgement on that.

So - recapping - I have Good Bad Luck - or - Bad Good Luck. Apparently I tempted a higher power to test my attitude on that and they passed me one hurdle after another to see if I could hack it.........

Okay - let's look at it -
* Monday........car was fixed - we had the money to cover it - BigGuy now drives in a car that isn't about to break down. Good Luck.

* Tuesday.........ack - lice stinks - but we didn't have a single meeting that night so I was able to notice that he had lice - we had the money to buy the kits needed to clean our hair (thank you car repair bill luck). None of the kids freaked out about it. We got it all done. No one had to shave their hair off (it was a fear).

* Wednesday.........I was able to turn everything off and just be sick. No meetings, no worries, the kids were helpful......

* Thursday......okay that was a test day - able to get into the doctors office - we have medical coverage - we have a car that I can lock myself out of - BigGuy was reasonably able to get to us in time to open the car - TheMan had chocolate milk and Pop-Tarts to eat while we waited - the pharmacists were helpful - the doctor was willing to switch the prescription and sent a voucher for a free sinus spray - BigGuy took over house duties after he got home from work - the boys didn't make me crazy while they stayed home.

Today is Friday - my kids have a half day of school - another hurdle? No...a blessing - extra time with my kids. Plus - I lost my voice (the new script meant that I went from a 4 day "quick feel" medicine to a 10 day "you get a bit worse before you get better" medicine - today I am feeling a bit worse physically.

However, since I was too exhausted to drive myself home after dropping TheKing off at preschool - I was easily convinced to meet for coffee with my good friend, KBS, and she invited a potential friend. We sat and talked and goofed off for 2 hours at the coffee shop. Probably why I lost my voice. Still - made the day worth whatever else might come about.

Good Luck - Bad Luck........they are all the same thing........I am convinced it is all in how you look at it.

Still I will keep crossing my fingers just in case.

How Fun Was That?

You know how you can't keep a calendar in your head all the time - so you aren't always certain what is going on, but you have a pretty clear idea of what is on the schedule as you sign up for things?

In general I can keep the flow of what the family is doing to a medium speed. We have faster days......for instance, TheMan has religion on Wed. and SuperStar has drama club after school on the same day and we have Piano for both of them at home that afternoon too - then there are Late Start days on Wed. for school (the district has school start 1 hour late on various Wed. for teacher planning - it is a smart plan that is mildly disruptive to the days schedule because I have to shuttle people about to get TheKing to preschool on time too).......I have no control over when religion is or when drama is scheduled or Late Start days - we have had piano on Wed FOREVER and Erin, our piano man, come here to our home to teach - moving that time around is close to impossible so we just work around that time - plus Erin is wonderful and he ebbs with us since we ebb with him when others on his schedule need it. Given that - Wednesdays can sometimes be a high speed day.

What is my point? Well it is that overall I do a pretty good job of managing how crazy we are. Still........it seems that no matter how gifted I am at this juggling of time to keep people from melting down in tears (primarily me, but sometimes the kids too).....there are those weeks when it doesn't matter what you do - EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD IS SCHEDULED AT THE SAME TIME!! I am sure everyone I know has this happen. We call it "When it rains it pours".....okay maybe that is just me.

So this weekend went like this:

Friday - finish decorating 6 cakes - 1 for delivery and the rest for a bake sale I signed on for

Friday - Family Fun Night at school - I was the organizer and helped set up and greet and clean up - my GirlScouts helped too - it went great

Saturday - Up at dawn to hit the Craft Fair for the Bake Sale - Did well - Enjoyed my time - cleared my costs and made money toward a charity we have at school for Holiday Meals

Saturday - BigGuy took kids to stores to pick up gifts for parties they were attending

Saturday - SuperStar was taking care of a neighbors pet by letting out the dog and feeding the horses 2x's that day

Saturday - Pick up from Hockey Party and hang a bit talking to friends - brought a friend home for TheMan to play with

Saturday - SuperStar went to a Sleepover Party

Sunday - Church

Sunday - Serve Meal at local food pantry

Sunday - Prep for week doing laundry and some cake planning for orders

There really wasn't much of a moment left - well Saturday eve we hung a bit and snuggled - that was a nice bonus time. It was a high speed weekend.

But it was fun!!

Funny Friend Story II

Okay so I was thinking maybe Funny Friend Story II should be saved for another day.......but I am thinking about it now....and avoiding making 30 fondant footballs........

So here it is.

This friend lives in a smallish town that its name start with a B. No, it is not New Bedford......TheMan just asked me this.....he is reading over my shoulder in awe at how quickly I can type. It is nice to AWE your children in some way right? My typing will be what he remembers I guess. Although he is still reading and he says it will not be what he remembers........he apparently will remember my Gooey Butter cake - nice. Needless to say - New Bedford does not start with the letter "B" - it would start with the letter "N".

Anyway.....this friend lives in a town that starts with the letter B.

She and her kids are at a stop light - so that means they are in her car too. Her son is looking out the car window. My friend is probably just thinking about the millions of things that woman have to think about during every waking hour of their daily life. Certainly paying attention to her stop light and safe driving skills (we have to mention that), but not so much to what her kiddo is doing while sitting next to her in her car - she is on auto pilot in her head. You know that feeling right?

Her son asks, "What do BFD mean?"

My friend, not thinking about it much......and in her head still......doesn't question what he has asked and just says, "BFD means Big Fucking Deal". Then she thinks what she just said and wonders who in the world has introduced the term "BFD" to her precious son (they are all precious right?)!!! She turns to him to ask him exactly that and as she does looks out the car window that her son has been looking out and sees the fire truck with the BFD on the side. . . . . . . .and realizes that he was talking about the Bloomington Fire Department logo........

hehehehehehe - great parenting moment right?

Funny Friend Stories

Okay....yes I have been busy, but there is always time to actually blog....and I do sit down and do it...and I do think of fun things to write about......but then a kid comes by or the phone rings or I remember another something I have to do and it is literally like "Squirrel" from the movie UP.

Oh and then there is that cake blog that I have been actually posting at semi regularly. Which is really the other reason that I haven't been posting blogs here a bunch. If I am not volunteering for something by creating a newsletter or planning and event.....I find that when I am on the computer I am researching a cake - like just today I was researching Electric Guitar cakes....and licensing a bakery stuff........so while I have things to write about, by the time I really concentrate enough to write it I have completely forgotten what I was ever going to write!!

However, my friends are on my mind a lot because they are helping me through my current adventures. And due to that I am thinking about their stories.....and here is a Funny Friend Story.........

So this friend, we will call her TL, is totally put together. She dresses nice - like not just unwrinkled clothes, but unwrinkled matching clothes that are from the CURRENT style......so not me. TL goes fun places. TL has a great job she loves and 2 kiddo's - one is in TheMan's grade and the other is at SuperStar's school a few years above her - 8th grade. She is also a Volunteer-A-Holic.......which is kinda how we have gotten close - we are on everyone of the same committee's together - and she has a heart of gold - which I completely admire in a person.

Needless to say - she has it all together.

This summer TL had an emergency operation. I won't go "all into it", but basically she was like the dog, Marley, from the movie Marley & Me. Her intestines were too long and they twisted up. It was dangerous and serious and she was home from work for several weeks. When she was recovering she tells a story in which her daughter, MissK, was helping her get dinner. They had decided to order out. TL was too woozy to actually talk to the people at the restaurant they were ordering from so she wanted MissK to do it. MissK was whining a bit about it (as good 8th graders will) and said she was too nervous to do it. TL insisted. MissK whined. TL said - in a medicated haze and in a very strict and probably annoyed voice (as good mothers will), "MissK you have to do this, I am trying to teach you how to cook dinner for your family."

Get it........the joke apparently is not just that she was making her daughter cook dinner by ordering out at a take out restaurant........but also apparently TL really cooks this way. Or so she says - I bet if we ever have dinner there it will taste great.

Anyway......funny TL story. I have another.........