Today TheKing and I were both working on the computer. Crazy right? My 4 year old son knows how to navigate the computer. Plus he is super good at it. We can turn the computer off and he can still figure out how to turn it on, find his way into the user that belongs to the kiddo's and on top of that all find his way into the websites that have his favorite games. Geez Louise.....
Today though he was on the home computer and I was on the laptop. Honest I was paying attention, but honestly it was half hearted. I didn't notice that he stopped playing his game because that music drones on over and over regardless of it you are playing the game or not. Suddenly he was standing next to me holding a Bella Sara card. The card isn't anything important. It is something similar to a baseball card that SuperStar collected for awhile. Each card has a mythical creature on it. This particular card has been sitting in the computer hutch forever, but was just now being noticed by someone.
The card that the TheKing was holding had a unicorn on either side. On one side the unicorn pictured had white hair. On the other side the unicorn pictured had black hair.
The King said, "What is this Maudy?" holding the card up for me to see.
"Looks like one of SuperStar's old Bella Sara cards." was my response after looking quickly at the unicorns.
"Is this one a good guy and this one is a bad guy?" he asked flipping the card back and forth between the two pictures.
"No I think all the characters are good in that series." I said - and then began to think about what he asked. "Why do you think one of the unicorns is a 'bad' one?" I added.
"This one is a bad one." and he pointed to the unicorn with black hair.
"Why do you think that one is the bad one?" I asked.
"Because the white one is always good." he added matter of fact.
"Well a black unicorn is just as good as a white unicorn and this one is a superhero." (TheKing is currently IN LOVE with superheros of all types so adding "SuperHero" makes a big point for him) I said pointing to the unicorn with the black hair. "There is nothing a black unicorn can't do."
TheKing put the card down and said, "Can I have a cookie now?"
I am realistic enough that I "get" he wasn't having this conversation to talk about racism or diversity. Yet at the same time we were. BigGuy and I have never told any of our kiddo's that white means good and black means bad. Just the opposite actually. We (okay maybe it is more ME) make a point to stress that there are stereotypes hidden in everything and to always be certain to Look Closely at everything before making a judgement on it.
Yet these messages of black meaning bad and white meaning good are there in my 4 year old sons head. This isn't a new message. I have had similar conversations with SuperStar and Spidey. All TheKing needs to do is watch a cartoon, a harmless Disney movie or in some cases read a book and he can learn that message.
We don't need to tell them..........they learn it themselves through our worlds subliminal messaging.
We do need to change it...........by talking to them even when it is not so simple or so comfortable. If we don't then they will continue to believe what they learn.
3 comments:
It filters down eventually. Maybe sometime soon it will be something they remember "because it used to be what people thought". I just posted something on FB about the riddle that stumped generations. It's basicaly the same principle. The good news is that the children of our world today are no longer stumped by it. To them it's easy, and if it's not easy, they have another perfectly reasonable explanation for it.
A father and his son were driving home one night. They were in an accident and the father died immediately. The son was taken to the hospital and was wheeled into surgery. Upon seeing the child, the head surgeon responded "I can't operate on this boy, he's my son". Who is the surgeon?
The answer, of course is the mother. Children today get that. Although, there are quite a few answers of "He has two dads" Even progressive and non-traditional thinkers move in the direction of a masculine surgeon. I've always thought the riddle would have a different outcome if it talked about a daughter and used feminine pronouns in the story line. It would have been a simple reminder that a woman was possible.
The residual will be there for a while. Maybe someday, maybe our children's children will read history books and be amazed that anyone ever though that way about race. Or maybe they will be lessons we need to relearn every generation.
Franchesca you picked my SECOND favorite topic to point out over and over to the kids to watch for stereotypes. I will have to tell you the story of Spidey & His Campaign to end Sexism Against Pink (not that he would actually wear it).
I love that you are on my line of thinking my dear.
I love this! I've discovered that even NPR can cause children to have false perceptions about reality. One day Angela commented that African American children can't swim. I was shocked that she would think that and asked her where in the world she would get that idea (especially since she has seen many African American children swimming at Maplewood pool). She said, "Remember Mom? They said it on the news when we were in the car the other day." Then I remembered the story on NPR about the fact that more African American children drown than Caucasian children. I think it was a statistic that was being used to say that we need more community centers with pools in poor, urban areas. Angela didn't listen to (or understand) the whole story, though. It's hard for them to understand the difference between not having the opportunity to swim and not being able to swim. So we had a good conversation about that. I just wonder what other things she thinks are true...
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