So I am starting to think that THIS SUMMER will be THE SUMMER for SuperStar. Yesterday I was laying on my bed with tummy pains from what I guessed was the hamburger in our spaghetti (I don't do well with beef) and heard SuperStar come into the house with Spidey and BigGuy. He had gone out to look for them - it was 8pmish and they had still been gallivanting outside with Mr.I and Mr.W. SuperStar was in the throes of a very loud sobbing spree. She ran up the stairs in a most dramatic style (I couldn't even see it and I could envision it with the noises, sighs and thundering followed by the sweeping wind that rushed behind her into her room and a slammed door - which now has Glittery hand cut pink sticky foam that spells out "Anti-Pink".......meaning she doesn't like PINK.......she does however LOVE PINK the singer - all angry girl music is in these days.
Spidey followed up the stairs - straight to her room and he looked upset and longingly into her door. Then turned, looked at me and walked into his own room. BigGuy came next. He looked at her door, turned to me, rolled his eyes and started to walk away. I called out to stop him asking what had happened - figuring he gave them some reading of the rules for being out after 8pmish (which is not yet a rule). He said he didn't know what she was going on about and then walked away.
Spidey came into my room then and explained that Mr.I, Mr.W, himself and SuperStar were dragging each other about on the wagon - they had reached a far street and the older boys decided to run back thinking their parents would be looking for them or something (this was Spidey's interpretation remember - so it was a bit foggy). Regardless of intent they left SuperStar and Spidey behind to drag the wagon back - Spidey's first reaction was to chase after the older boys and SuperStar was left alone far off from the house in the dark. She freaked out a bit and became upset. Spidey realized the mistake and double backed to walk with her and the wagon. Apparently even offering to drag the wagon and hold hands. Once home SuperStar turned on him and I suppose with relief of safety caved into crazy emotions and ran into her room crying..............for about 20 minutes. Spidey was very upset about it. He wrote her a note saying he was Very Very Sorry and stuck it under her door. She picked it up (we could see that) and then wept even louder near the door for a bit. Then pushed the note back out. Spidey didn't see that part - it took long enough that his 8 year old attention span was off onto something else by that point.
After no one picked the note up SuperStar wandered out in dramatic style and tossed herself onto my bed next to me. She explained the same thing Spidey did. She was scared when the boys left her in the dark. She was glad Spidey came back, but that due to the late return she couldn't take a shower and that upset her even more - then she began weeping again. Things clicked for me. I asked her to go downstairs and grab my Family Planning Calendar (we keep all the schedules on a calendar). She did. BigGuy followed her back upstairs wanting to see what we were doing with the calendar (he is trying to be better about knowing the schedule - for his own sanity). I looked at the last month when my cycle started - counted forward 4 weeks and backward 2 days from that (I am pretty regular) and found - yep - I will be starting my period in about 2 days from today (perfect time to take 16 Girl Scouts out of town!). Most likely my tummy pains were not from the beef then. And most likely the drama ensuing in front of me was not due to darkness and lack of a shower. SuperStar is cycling emotionally with me now. I have charted her tantrums for 4 months now and they are always out of control the week before my period starts.
They have had the talk in school. We have had the talk with her too. So BigGuy and I talked with her again about the Emotional Roller Coaster that is the Female Monthly Gift. Since I didn't care for the fact that the older boys left SuperStar in the dark farish away from home (if that was true) I left that alone - I might have cried about that myself - and we started our talk with, "Do you really think not taking a shower is worth all this dramatic crying?"............she agreed it wasn't. So we talked about how some woman respond to the flux of hormones when they have their Monthly Gift. We pointed out how you chart it - 4 weeks, blah blah.......and we explained that most likely this will happen over and over and KNOWING when it will happen can help a woman better understand how to respond to things in order to keep themselves a little less crazy those few days before. SuperStar calmed down. She actually said, "Well that makes a lot more sense.....now I feel normal again." Then she wandered into her room. The fact was no one ever told her she could not take a shower - she created that in her head to cry about. So she took a shower and then fell asleep. Sometimes crying is better then a good workout.
I think she may be celebrating a new chapter opening up in her life by the end of this summer though.
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