Where Are You?

So I haven't blogged since August 20th - and lets be honest - that one was kinda a terribly easy blog - SuperStars birthday. Not that it wasn't sincere - she was with me when I did it and she love love loved every inch of it - and I meant how much I loved her too - but that has been part of the problem.......

See we moved our computer.

Huh? Why should that matter? Well it matters because the placement of the computer is very public now - where as the placement of the computer before had the potential for being very private if you wished.

If you have been here you can picture where I am - in the dining room - right next to the giant wall of windows & glass doors. I now look over the cow field and it is very nice to sit here and work on the computer. And I do WORK on the computer. I know a lot of people think that I stay home and PLAY on the computer - and I do that too. See being the PTO Treasurer, the Girl Scout Leader planning events and budgeting our finances, now having the family finances as my larger responsibility and then just having preschool info and contacts, the high school reunion stuff that I am working on and general this and that's - like downloading sheet music for musical auditions - signing up for classes and events for the kids - and blah blah blah - I am on the computer A LOT.

And while I am doing all that - I keep my email open. When my email is open I can see the moment someone sends me a note. And I answer them. And I type a lot. And if it is from Facebook - I have to log in to answer those - and then I peek around and see what everyone else is doing - and I end up wasting time. Then...........after all that work and play............I feel guilty blogging.

So that is PART of the reason I have disappeared. And it is kinda lame and not completely honest.

The other part (I think there are 3 parts) - is also part of the reason we moved the computer - I can be more "in" what is happening. Dawson likes to be outside - and when he goes out to play in the backyard it is a perfect time for me to do some work. Being in the dining room I can see the backyard and open the door to hear what he is up to. I can also be seen by him. And he comes and asks me to "play" - and sometimes I do - and he comes and asks me to "help" - and I do - and he comes and just throws a tantrum for whatever reason - and I stop to help with those too. Older kids too - "Mom can I have", "Mom can you help", "Mom when is it my turn on the computer", "Mom I don't understand this homework"...........and this is exactly why we put the computer upstairs - so we can work and still be really close to the hub of the action...........only it is also a big hindrance to getting anything done.

The final part..........and this is being really really honest - I have a TON on my mind. And I really do want to blog about it..........but some of it has to do with people in my life that I really like and might misread my intentions in blogging it. So I want to blog it - but I am afraid to blog it - and because they are issues that are being worked through currently if I don't blog them then all the blogs I do seem superficial and boring...........so I just haven't blogged. Like I said though - I am working on them - and I think I have gotten to the comfort level of "I can blog them" - so I will - and hope that anyone that wonders what the heavens I meant........asks.

Which is why I am here right now at 6:30am blogging.........because MJ sent an email and said "Where Are You?"........