Children Not Allowed

Seems to be a TheKing week............oh well, the pictures are make up for the fact that lately all my stories include him - right?

Well as most know TheKing has been in swim lessons since we moved here. Primarily because he has no inkling of fear of the water. Zero. So to keep woman from freaking out all over the pool when he jumps in - we put him in swim class. He can now 15ft. in a fairly recognizable free style stroke. He has legs that pump him further then that, but the arm coordination thing messes him up a bit still.

This season we put him in private lessons. He seems to learn more and they are so inexpensive that it is way worth it. His teachers name is Mindy - and she is just the best! In fact, for the most part I love the gym we go to. The child care is fabulous and they all know TheKing's name.......he loves being there........they love having him (or at least they fake it way better then I do).

The only down side is that not EVERYONE loves having TheKing - or any other small person under the age of 16 - around at the gym. And they are making the silliest stinks. At first my thought was that they were mostly directed at me - because we all know that the universe revolves around me right? However, I am not learning that these "Older Ladies" have made moms cry. One mom had her twins in swim class early while there was an water aerobics class going. The little ones were afriad of the water and crying - throwing a fit - the usual start of swim class kinda stuff - they get over it after a bit. And the older women in the class complained directly to the mom about how her children were ruining their class and that if she couldn't control them she should take them out. And they made her cry - because you know her heart was already being torn by the kids who were crying. If that is their goal - the break parents down into tears - then they might as well forget me - I just get sneaky and work around them.

What am I talking about?

Well........TheKing's swim lesson starts at 9am and goes until 9:30am. My pilates (love the pilates!!) class starts at 10am. Perfect!! Swim class, dry and dressed, snack while watching the next class, then sign TheKing in to the BusyBee's program and I am off to stretch and strengthen. Only....as we sat QUIETLY on the couch in the LOBBY WHERE NO ONE EXERCISES AND IT IS ONLY A PASS THROUGH TO THE GYM........we were approached by the kindly gentleman that I now refer to as "Gym Police Guy". Gym Police Guy comes over in his kindly grandpa way and says........."are you having a snack?" I thought he was being kind and said, "Yep." Only he wasn't really cuz he said, "Oh, well technically the gym is not open to children until 10am and it is 9:45 right now." "Yes, well we aren't technically in the gym we are in the lobby having a snack and I will be signing him into the BusyBee's in 5 minutes before I go to class." He smiles all sweet and says, "Oh I totally understand" and places his hand on my shoulder (ick) and continues with, "but I get yelled at if I do not abide by the rules for everyone and this is still the gym so you can't be in here either. Your son needs to be in the child care if he is here before 10am. The gym is not open for children before then."

I probably sighed - I probably looked confused - I know I said, "But we had swim class at 9am so obviously the parts of the gym is open for children before 10am." Now he looked confused - I don't think he was used to people not falling for his grandpa sweet charm straight off.......but came back with, "Oh, yes, swim class. Well after that is over you need to leave or take him to child care. Otherwise I will be yelled at for not doing my job." And he said that like I really was going to be upset if he got yelled at. Making one last ditch to be understood I explained that there was only 15 minutes in between TheKing's swim class ending and mine starting.............and that we needed to get a snack in him quickly......and I asked if he had a suggestion as to where we might be able to do that without causing a problem. His suggestion was, "Well I suppose you could go out to your car."

Seriously? Go to my car?

Okay, well I didn't get upset. I finished the snack with TheKing - first telling Gym Police Guy that we would be finishing our snack before moving on - and then went to my class. Pilates is like Yoga so it soothed the edges a bit. Then I went home and calmly phoned an aquaintance who works at the gym - she runs the swim program. She said they are being very strict about it and to just see if I can find a niche to hang out - or ask one of the woman in the BusyBee's if they would take TheKing out for a snack after 10am.

This week we decided to do the first suggestion. After class we sat In The Pool Area a smidge longer to warm up a bit and kill a second of time. Snuggled. Talked to the swim instructor a smidge. We were there about 5 minutes and I was just getting ready to move TheKing toward the FAMILY dressing room (because the Older Ladies get snippy at the youngsters in the main dressing room so I avoid that area) when here comes Gym Police Guy.........crap......."Hey" as he touches my leg (ick), "are you just finishing up a swim class?" Because what he really wants to know is do I plan to let my kid swim in the pool - because he CAN'T - because it is OFF LIMITS to little kids until 10am - and I say, "Yes, we are just warming up before we get him dressed." He smiles warmly, "Oh, well remember that he has to get moving......smile.....the gym is....." "off limits to anyone with a heart before 10am.....yes I know." I finished for him. He smiled and just thanked me and walked on (I don't think he heard what I said about the heart).

We sat a few minutes more just because I am ornery. Then we walked to the Family dressing room......got dressed....and sat and ate some Cheez It's. Nothing better then Cheez It's in a gym changing room. Sigh.

You know perhaps the parents in the gym should rise up and demonstrate. Perhaps we should complain about how slow the Older Gym Patrons are moving and how dang quiet they are all the time. Down right creepy if you ask me. They should have their gym times limited - really only be allowed in the gym from about 5am to 10am........after that it is probably time for them to go home and clean their brooms...........