What I Can Easily Find

Remember I asked the other day "Where Is Precious"? Well a movie that I can find EVERYWHERE is Blind Side. At first I thought that this was a "comfort" zone kind of race thing. Well......honestly a little bit I still do think that. But not completely anymore. I understand through a little reading that one was a big budgeted film to begin with - big stars - big intent and hope attached for returns probably even. The other was a smaller film that was seen by a largely influential woman who was able to help push it into the lime light and it has grown in popularity to become a box office success. And I believe both films are doing very well. I have only seen the easily found film so far. And I must say that I did like the film.......but I think it fell a little short on its teachable moments.

Remember February? My month of White Privilege blogs? Well I must say that I believe the family in this movie probably now fully understands what I am talking about. However, I think the film could have touched much more strongly on it. This probably sounds funny coming from me because our family photos will some day look similar to this families photos (minus the football uniforms I hope). But what I was hoping to see in this movie was a more blatant picture of how white people are often closed off to any experience that is not their own - and how that changes. Often times we (whites) see our history as every one's history. We have been taught that White History is every one's history. But it isn't. Especially my generation and any generation that came before my group. We are are taught White Male History - shoot the word alone is HIS-tory. I can easily go to the library and find books about American History that includes what white males did for us. Easy.........there are volumes and volumes of it. Ask anyone on the street to name a famous person who changed our world and I bet you the highest percentage will answer the name of a white male. Is it our fault? Well it is if you let it continue.

Does it seem like I am getting off subject? Well I am not. I am trying to explain that I think because our society has always been conditioned to see things through the White Experience........I find myself disappointed in this movie. Maybe it is just me though. Maybe because in some ways my own experience is the Mothers experience in this movie and I can identify with her - I see that it is written from the white persons experience. Maybe I went in there wanting to more see it from the Sons experience. And don't get me completely wrong......it does show his experience......but it is from a very strong metaphor through football - which alienates me a bit. Yes, I understand why football plays such a strong role in this film.........because the young man in the movie became a very wonderful professional football player. The rags to riches (both emotionally and financially) story is inspiring. To me maybe more so then others. But lets just say that the story didn't depict such a wealthy white family - or a black youth who has become so successful - would the story still have been made into a movie? What if the white family had been only middle class......and the black youth had only become a teacher - would the story have still been made? Would it still inspire so many?

I think the story would still inspire others......but I question weather the story would have been made. Maybe. I hope.

The one thing that I truly hope to see come out of this film is an opening up of our society to embrace the children of African American decent here in the United States. I am asked just about once a month what part of African our youngest son is adopted from. When I tell them that he is a child born in the United States many of them seem genuinely confused. They assume that we would cross the ocean to adopt. They are much less interested when I tell them he is from the same country they are. In some instances they have told me that they hoped he was from Africa because they plan to adopt from there and hoped I could give them some tips about the process. When I suggest that if they are comfortable adopting cross race lines there is a much closer to home way to adopt and help a US child - they aren't interested. I have asked myself why many times.

Is it their love for Africa? Don't they love the United States as much?

Is it their need to help a child living in horrible conditions? Don't they understand kids in foster are there because of horrible conditions?

Is it their need to do what is popular and cool? Don't they realize a child is not an accessory? They can save $20,000, adopt here through foster care for free and then bank that money to send the child to college.

Course I know some of these families. China, Russia, Africa. And I know that their choice was the perfect one for them. And I wouldn't change their experience at all. But maybe Blind Side will begin to change the attitude of those families who have yet to adopt. Then it will become more common - maybe.

I am hoping.

Where Is Precious?

Why are there so few theatres showing Precious? In our town not a single theatre is showing it on a daily basis. There was a "special" - 1 Night Only - viewing a few Mondays ago. I hadn't realized that they wouldn't be showing it or I would have taken that evening to go and see it. Now it is gone.

So I began to search for it. Precious is not in a single theatre in our area......and I don't just mean our Twin Cities.......it isn't even within simple driving distance. Why is that? Is it the content - which is on the dark side of bleak? Is it too real for people? Is it too hard to admit that situations like that exist? Why is it still "by demand"? Is it because we are afraid?

I found this article in The New York Times as I did some searching for the movie -
The Audacity of Precious - and now I want to see it even more. Where is Precious?

Upside Down Christmas

Now .............. seriously.........I googled Upside Down Christmas and this is what I found!! Tons and Tons of them! Upside Down Christmas Trees! What are these for?? To make someone's Christmas Unique and Different? To help that persons home become the spotlight of Christmas? I have to admit that I don't find them repulsive......in fact I think they are quite clever in a space saver kind of a way. Because if you think about it - there is TONS of space on our ceiling for the width of a tree - but so much furniture and such competing for floor space that really it would be easier to fit the Tip of the Christmas tree on the Bottom.

My question would be......how do you get the presents Under the Bottom of the Tree on the Ceiling?

Now I also think that this sort of Christmas Tree fits very well with the twist that is the more recent kind of Christmas. Christmas seems to have become a holiday of lists and extreme shopping. Through this past week I have heard that ToysRUs will be opening their doors at 12:00am on the day after Thanksgiving! Kohl's is something like 3:00am........Walmart is deciding not to do any crazy specials and they are just staying open ALL NIGHT LONG with specials starting at 5:00am. To me that is all insane.........I can't imagine any reason to head out and shop that early....because isn't Christmas supposed to be about something else? Everyone complains about the commercialism of Christmas - it is too much about the stress of giving and not enough about the love for one another and religion. So what I am thinking is ............... if you are getting up at crazy hours to make "special" purchases the day after Thanksgiving - then do not complain to me about how the meaning of Christmas is being lost - because you are part of the fast fade that is the lost meaning of Christmas. Just like the Upside Down Christmas Tree - it is fun, it is crazy and exciting and the prices fit a budget better.......but it isn't Christmas.

It is not about the BEST price on the Best Gift - it is about showing your family, friends, neighbors and God how much you love them - no gift needed.

Tis The Season.......

Tis The Season To Be Thankful...........Happy Thanksgiving!!

Mornings are Kinda Lonely Now

Close to every morning I am the first person up. I head down the steps and see our dog, Jake, in his crate on the landing - standing up trying to gather his ball or lovie - whatever he has taken into his crate with him - preparing to head out with me. I open the crate, he bangs into my leg because he is so big and there isn't a ton of space there with his giant crate - and he runs down the stairs. Half dancing, half wanting to get out side. He drops his ball somewhere and runs for the door. The game is you are supposed to find the ball......then pick it up and throw it out the door. Then he runs out after it and dances around it pretending he has no clue where it is. Takes him forever to bring it back. So usually we go back inside and when he has sufficiently pretended not to know where it is........he finds it - and runs back throwing his body against the glass door to let you know it is time to throw again. Now mornings are quiet. Crate is still there. But there is nothing there. No annoying ball game...........no Jakey. Just empty.

I have no idea what day this will post.....my head is a bit muddled.....but last Sunday our sweet, goofy, ball obsessed dog intentionally bit TheKing. It was not provoked. It was not expected. It was not okay. I was standing right near where Jake was laying on the ground. TheKing came into the room and very sweetly began to count Jake's paws. "Look Mom Jake has four feet." I looked over and Jake seemed fine - still laying there. TheKing was standing near, but not over him. TheKing moved a bit closer to count Jakes ears and eyes - not poking or pointing. Jake jumped up without malice - TheKing tried to kiss him - Jake moved toward TheKing and bit him in the face. It was all a split second - no forewarning of a growl - just a quick action. If it had been any other dog and not our sweet, loved Jake I would have easily called it An attack really.

But it was Jake. And our minds wanted to try to reason it away. Only there was no good reason for this.

TheKing was not seriously hurt. He has 4 wounds - 2 deep scratches and 2 superficial puncture wounds. No stitches. A week later the swelling is all gone - the red is gone and the scabs are already brushed off. He will have some tiny scars, but those are primarily due to the fact that he is 3 and keeps butting his head into things and losing the scabs. He is a trooper and we are so happy that the outcome was this simple.

We reported the incident to the vet. Who alerted the Animal Control. We were required to either surrender Jake for a 10 day quarentine or waive that by putting him down and having tests done to his body. We put him in quarentine until we could figure out what to do next. That meant phone calls to many no-kill shelters - who we found would not take dogs with a bite history. We considered training, but we knew even if we put him through training we would never be able to trust him with our kids again. Some close friends asked if they could take Jake in - train him and find another home for him. We considered training him and putting him into a better home - one without kids. Then we were asked this simple question.........

If your child was biten by a dog and then you found out that dog had biten before, but the family didn't keep him because they didn't trust him......but adopted him into a new home - how would you feel?

So if we didn't trust Jake with our own family, friends and neighborhood kids....why would we risk the safety of those we haven't met yet. And our decision was sadly made.

The hard part was - he bit our child - and yet we felt absolutely awful putting him down. Awful. Tears for days. A friend, who is a vet, told me that he wasn't a bad or evil dog - he was just a dog that mixed up where he belonged in our family in a way that was dangerous. It might have been easier had he been evil.

Jake was always the greatest dog EVER. He was obsessed with his ball - if you ever visited you know exactly what I am talking about.........over and over and over - he was never ending with the ball. He used to try to sneak onto the couch by sitting like a human. Butt on the custion, front paws on the floor and his head on the coffee table. Dork dog. He was patient with the kids in general. He loved his crate - sleeping in it every night and never complaining or trying to dodge it. I can remember when we were moving from STL to here. We had him in the hotel in a travel crate....he was way too big for that pop up thing and yet he was a team player and scrunched up inside it looking all happy to be there. He was really the greatest dog ever - I could list far more Wonderful Jake things then negatives.

We took the kids to say goodbye to Jake. That was the Saddest Day Ever. He was in his kennel - they couldn't open it for us. All the dogs there were frantically barking - trying to get our attention. Jake was frantically barking.......probably trying to get us to open the door. He didn't recognize us at first and his barking was not friendly. The kids immediately put their hands over their ears because it was all so deafening and they cried. We all were crying. The people who worked there disappeared - I know that one woman who had spent a great deal of time the two days prior talking to me was crying. Spidey wanted to leave. TheKing wanted to leave. We started to leave and I looked back and there was SuperStar with her hands over her ears.......scraming, "But I didn't get to say goodbye yet!" So I went back and took her hand to leave as she said goodbye. Only she still didn't see it as a done task because we thought we would get to be in a room with Jake, pet him and say goodbye properly. We didn't realize that his restrictions of quarentine would require him to stay in his kennel - with a giant padlock on the fence.

It was very hard. It was impossible.

"But I want Jakey to come home."

"Don't worry TheKing. Jake will always love you. He will always be in your heart."

That is what my oldest son said to my youngest son as we were driving away from the Animal Control building. And he is right. He will always be in our hears. He is in mine right now.

Girl Scout Extravaganza

This was a Super Fun day. I will admit that this was a Saturday that followed a crazy few weeks. Wait........now that I type that out and think about it I can not remember a Saturday that didn't follow a very crazy week - not crazy like "I can't handle another thing", but more crazy like "gosh a down day would be nice". So on this particular day I was border line with a cold......tired from lack of sleep due to the cold.....and it was the first weekend after many VERY busy ones. The thought of just staying in bed was a nice one.....but two days before this Girl Scout event we were informed that our troop was a Honor Troop and we had been invited to participate in the Opening and Closing Flag Ceremonies. Which was a big honor as this was a Large Scale Girl Scout event including troops for all over.

There were only 5 of our 18 girls that attended that day. That made everything a lot easier to manage. As the girls practiced I could see that they were very excited. SuperStar was invited to be one of the Callers......very big for her. All the other girls were lucky enough to do exactly what they requested too - 2 Flag Bearers and 2 Guards. So everyone was happy - making it even more exciting. And I was a bit surprised at the pride that swelled up in me as the girls walked down the isle. It was very cool. After the Annual Meeting and the retiring of the Flags the girls got to meet and take a picture with the Head of all Girl Scouts - Connie Lindsay. That also is a pretty bit honor! The girls had lunch and my co-leader and I attended a real live sit down luncheon in another ball room. Then we played - rock climbing, archery, crafts, cookie tasting - it was all there. Very fun twist.

A Day In The Life Of Me

I am always talking about what the kids do...........and BigGuy.......and I am often listing off the things that I don't get accomplished in a day. So I thought that perhaps I would take a day to follow myself around and make a picture list of the things that I DO get accomplished. I even did pretty well - I made it all the way to about 6pm. Then things started to get hectic and I lost track of the camera.........and that is part of my life too! So here is a peek into my daily activities...

Someone Needs To Explain How This Happened

About what..............7 weeks ago I think.....September 14thish - or was it the weekend after that? Does anyone remember when the Pork & Apple Festival was? Because it was THAT Sunday that GranmaR bought SuperStar & Spidey the 2 hamsters for their birthday. Sweetest little things. Oreo & Raven. Pretty certain we did a post introducing them..........well tonight I was cleaning their cage and there was Oreo eating food - there was Raven pogo bouncing to the opening trying to leap out into freedom............Raven does this - she will literally escape from her house at least 2x a week. And then in the morning I will be walking around - I am almost always the first one up - and she will eventually scurry to me to be picked up and placed back into her house. What in heavens name is that about? When have you ever - EVER - ever heard of a hammie that escapes their house and then comes straight to you in the morning to be picked up to go to bed for the day? Anyone?

I didn't think so.

Anyway.........I am cleaining the cage - Oreo is eating as usual - and Raven is begging to be picked up and put in her ball. And then I noticed another hamster. A very small gray hamster.....who was walking around like a drunk. We didn't buy that one. We bought 2 FEMALE hamsters. The store helper explained to Spidey why they only sold them in SAME SEX PAIRS.........so there was no mating........no surprises.........well looky here!!! This is either emaculate conception - or someone doesn't know how to pick out a hammie penis. Hmmm............

That figured out - see I am not saying emaculate conception doesn't exist, but I don't think God is going to waste that miracle on our hamsters - I could be wrong and I suppose if tomorrow a bush in the back yard goes up in flames I will reconcider.......but for now I am going to say the store helpers can't decipher what a hammie penis looks like (and honestly I can't either).

















and now we have 5 more hamsters...........

Anyone trying to figure out what to get their kids for Christmas? Because we will be weaning baby hammies mid December.......anyone? anyone?

Here is a last funny - the store helper said that if we brought them back in at 4 weeks old they would decipher the sex for us so we can divide them up. Now tell me - do we trust the store workers who helped us buy 2 FEMALE hamsters to begin with?

I have been told that this is where Pumpkin Pie comes from..............

So Here We Go...........

Know what this is? Ack! This is the beginning of all the romance drama to come. This is the very first official Love Letter SuperStar has received. Now she has had a kiss from her "first boyfriend" - a childhood friend from the age of about 6 months. And that was sweet - and he had some moves - but it was still Our Best Friends Son...........no some schmuck raised by people we have NO CLUE ABOUT! In fact, I know a lot of kids at their school and this kid is not one that I can say would be easy to find in a line up. So this little hooligan has taken a shine to our SuperStar - to the point that he was willing to create art and sign both their names in a heart AND give it to her through a friend. Oh the Audacity he has!

So Here We Go..........

Now this is probably only funny to me......but a few months ago I was talking with a friend. This friend happens to be the first boy that I held hands with in Jr. High, first shy kiss and first boy who let me wear his jeans jacket. He now also has a daughter - just one year older then SuperStar. She just this year started Jr. High. I asked him what he knew about any crushes she had. He assured me there were NO crushes - she was far too young for that sort of thing. I reminded him that we were her and SuperStars age when he first held my hand, pecked my cheek and wrote me notes. And I also reminded him that it was all sweet and innocent and just part of growing up. He said something about boys that age not being trusted based on what he remembered and wanted to change the subject and talk about something else. And I laughed at him - because it is all sweet and innocent.

I am not laughing as much now. Dang I hate when things bite me in the butt.

So What Do You Think? Don't you just LOVE LOVE LOVE this new background on the blog? I do..........and I thank Household Executive. Went to her blog yesterday and noticed that she had some fabulous new look to her blog and thought "dang when did she learn how to twist the HMLwhatchamathingy?" and then figured out just how she did it. And then.......I copied her - using a different background though. And then.......I changed my other blog too...and I changed its name to IpsyBipsySpider.

Why did I change the other blogs name? Well because I am going to start a little business and it turns out that PattiCakes is already taken. DamnIt! Although I think I can still use it in the state I live, but if someone is searching PattiCakes they are likely to hit ALL of them.....and there are quite a few.......which makes IpsyBipsySpider unique.

HoHo Mr. MailPerson!!

We are doing a fun fundraiser in TheKing's preschool. Santa Letters!!

Touch a Child's heart today with the Magic of the Holiday Season by sending them a Personalized Letter from Santa Claus


Imagine the face of the person when they receive a
Personalized, Hand Signed letter from Santa this season
on beautiful Holiday paper enclosed in an embellished envelope.

Our child's preschool, A Child's View Cooperative Preschool, will mail a letter to your Child OR Adult (really, it can be fun for an adult to get a letter too! Imagine THIER surprise!) anywhere you need it to go. Simply fill out the attached order form - send it back to the person who sent this email to you - and then we will do the rest.

Attached forms include a sample of the text included in the letter.
All Letters are $5.00 ~ Letters will be mailed as soon as payment is received.

If you have ANY questions please do not hesitate to email me at pattipattygsell@yahoo.com

All Proceeds Benefit A Child's View Cooperative Preschool
a not-for profit community preschool

Two Sides To Every Coin

There is a mom in our school that another friend and I like to jest about. It is nothing very mean..........this mom is just somewhat specific about how she likes her children to be raised............who seems to like to keep her kids surrounded by certain types of people (meaning smarties).........who has a very high academic bar for them to achieve towards......and who has made comments about my son to her very young daughter - which honestly is what started my joking with this other mom -

Really quick here is the back story........we are at a school Young Authors event - both SuperStar and Spidey have written books so they are both there. My kids have spent much time with this mom and her family over the past few years. So she is quite familiar with my kids and truthfully I would have not been offended AT ALL had this come from her own mouth to me......but it didn't. Her daughter, who was 4 at the time, approached me. I love this kid - too cute for words and smart as a whip (whatever that means). She comes up, I hug her, she hugs me, and then she looks up and says, "My mom says Spidey is a rude boy." and off she trotted.....leaving me there with my mouth open - half giggling and half wondering "what the heck?"

I wander to another friend and without mentioning names ask her what she would have done.......she just wanted to know who it was. Never told her. She had not good suggestions (if you are reading my dear....you had no good suggestions). Then a few months later I said something without thinking about it while with this second friend that gave away who that mom was. And we giggled because she had similar experiences. And we afterward made fun of EACH OTHER and how we would fall short of this persons expectations as a parent.......which also kinda made fun of the person directly. Bad Us.

Then last week SuperStar told me about something at school. SuperStar remembered that they had not passed out the BooGrams her class purchased for one another. She was disappointed because she can't WAIT to see how many she got. Remember BooGrams? They were like a status symbol in a way - a popularity measurement. If you didn't get one then it meant that no one was thinking about you as special. That can really hurt a kid. I remember. In fact I buy one for each of my kids each time something like this comes up just to make sure they get one. SuperStar and I reasoned that the next week they would hand out the BooGrams. And then she told me about how The Specific Mom had come in the day before they were supposed to be handed out. She had asked to purchase a BooGram for every child in both her children's grades that DID NOT already have one purchased for them. She wanted to make certain that every child in Kindergarten and 5th grade were treated to the feeling that someone thought they were special.

I had only thought to do it for my own kids. She had thought to do it for EVERY kid. She Rocks.

I forgot to look at both sides of her coin and just bothered to look at one.

Driving Round In Circles

Do you plan your errands out in a circle? I mean.........when you think of how you are going to complete the errands that you have in front of you do you create the motion you will travel in to be close to a circle that brings you back to your home?

If you live here in my area it will be easy for you - if you don't try to picture it in your head -
My list of things to do:
* Aldi
* Meijers
* Girl Scout office
* Blockbuster
* Gym
* Elementary School
* Bank
* Target
The gym has to go first because if I don't do it right away then it might be reasoned away as a time problem. So we go there first.
Then we take a left and head down the main street away from our home - next has to be the Girl Scout office because it is on the Right and next on the street (no doubling back) - then Meijers because it is on the Right and next on the street - then Aldi - because it is further on the Right - then we cross the main street and are now traveling back in the direction of our home - Target first because it is next on the road and on the Right - then Blockbuster because, yes, it is next on the Road and on the RIGHT - continue to the Bank - on the Right and next on the road - then all the way down to the Elementary school because it is closest to home and then home.

Now..........seems to make sense right? Except we went to the grocery stores very early in our trip and there were some freezer things (always there are).......and still it makes more sense TO ME to continue in a complete circle rather then double back and forth taking up more time to keep something frozen. God Help the Ice Cream.

Does this make sense to you? Or are these early signs of OCD? Or am I just want too anal retentive?

Fly Away Fly Away Fly Away Home.......

These Ladies are EVERYWHERE lately. They came streaming into our house just after the first real chill down in the area. At first they were dying almost as quickly as they were coming in through the garage and front door (note - we need to get better insulation around the front door!).........but now they aren't dying anymore. The Ladies that are here now are the ones who survived the trip and they seem ready to hunker down for the winter. They have NO FEAR of us what-so-ever. And we don't want to kill any of them so we find ourselves picking the ones up who are in the way and moving them to a safer spot. There are 2 Ladies inparticular who like to hang out around the sink.............they just sit around on the coutners right near the sink......

and at first glance they look like a spec of something that we need to clean up - and then you get close up with the towel and find......shoot it is a Lady Bug (Asian Lady Beetle) and instead of cleaning we go find a piece of paper to slide under it and move it to the window sill or some other "safety zone". Friends who visited recently even began to get into the act - switching them from one place to another - I mean honestly......no one wants to hear the crunch of a Lady under their shoes. That just sounds like bad luck all around.

Who would have ever thought that when the song went, "Fly Away Fly Away Fly Away Home" they meant for them to be flying to our house? Sheesh!

The Grass Can Always Look Greener I Suppose........

TheKing is getting dangerously close to 4 years old now. Can you believe that? 4 years old! SuperStar is 10. Spidey is 8. Where did it all go? Makes my head spin honestly. As TheKing gets older the conversations we have had are also getting older. What I mean is they make a heck of a lot more sense now..........and they are about who he is and how he relates to others.

A few days ago he and I were snuggling on his bed and just talking. No TV. No books. Just laying there trying to calm down after a bit of an emotional stint over a toy that would not work the way he wanted it to. He had been put to bed for the night and even though the ending was supposed to have been somewhat of a discipline move.........I felt like a snuggle might make things a bit better and had snuck back into his room. So it was also dark - which can make snuggling better on certain occasions.

On this occasion he wanted to talk about things - like most kids do they want to hear stories about when they were little. Littler then 3 doesn't leave much - but you can always find something can't you? As we were laying there he placed his baby on his belly. I asked him if he remembered laying on my belly snuggling when he was a baby....and how he used to fall asleep and I would listen to him breath? He said he did. He said he remembered when he was really little and he would be inside my tummy and he would eat food from my belly until he could come out and I would hold him. That surprised me. I didn't expect him to remember all that just yet. He is only 3 after all. And it made me sad too........because that wasn't me. I wish that were me, but that is some other lucky woman. And although I have never really found myself feeling genuinely jealous of her......at that moment I was. I wished sincerely that I was that woman so that I could say without any other thought in my head, "Yes, I remember that too." and then snuggle him a smidge closer knowing that we shared nine months that no one else in the world would be able to have a piece of. But I can't.

It is moments like this that remind me that I am connected to a woman that I am thankful for everyday. Without her there would be no TheKing. And I am envious of the connection she has with him. Although I know that he is now as much my son as he will ever be hers. And I know that somewhere in the world she is envious of the connection I have with him. So we now share envy as well as a blinding love for TheKing. And I an realistic that if we look hard enough at something the grass can always look greener I suppose, but honestly I am just very thankful for the grass, regardless of it greenness, that surrounds me right here. There isn't more that I could wish for really.