My Life Blog

Okay SuperStar is back to blogging again!! So check out her latest additions.......not sure why she is blogging all of a sudden - it was 10pm at night and she decided it was time to update her site!

Stop Telling Me About It!!

Here she is....sweet.....smart....wonderful....beautiful....and getting TALLER - I swear to goodness this is happening EVERY SINGLE DAY. In the past year she has grown at least 4 inches. 4 inches!! And everyone keeps telling me about it. "She is almost as tall as you!", "I bet you are sad she is almost taller then you", "What will you do when she outgrows you?". I hear that last one a bit more then I would have thought and it always leaves me thinking.....do they think that once my kids are taller then me I will lose all control? Because let's be honest - BigGuy is WAY taller then me and I boss him around (a little).

Then there is another topic that people keep mentioning......SuperStar is beginning to develop in ways other then height (you know what I mean right?). Thank you kind friends for pointing this out - I have already noticed though. See her body may be developing, but she is the same little girl she has always been with the same comfort level in our house. At night when she is going to bed and in the morning when she is getting ready she is completely comfortable still to walk around in her undies - and we aren't making her feel uncomfortable about herself by telling her she has to do anything differently then her brothers. She is modest - when friends or outside family are around she dresses differently. The draw back to her comfort level at home is that when she is being "comfortable" walking about in her undies I have noticed that my eyes are drawn to her "development" and I feel like I am staring.......maybe a little like the creepy person that stares at you forever without blinking..........I am completely amazed that my little girl is changing. I have also found myself googling "female development" with my friend to see what happens next as her daughter is in the same range.

Still, even though these "developments" are visible - it felt a little like I was the only one really noticing (or so I convinced myself - this is my imagination - she isn't really "developing") until at a school function parents (moms thank goodness) started approaching me and saying things like "Wow SuperStar is starting to get her bubbies!".

Really? Really we want to make a mom think about how her baby is not much more going to be a baby? Sigh. I would rather they talk about how she is going to dwarf me.....I knew that would happen the moment I married BigGuy.

Now I can REALLY Volunteer for Stuff!

So here is our families newest addition. Not that the entire family can use it......but eventually after the shock of cost and newness happens I am sure they will sneak on.

BigGuy is slowly working on me to become more "hip" to computers. It has been his secret wish for years now that we can wire the ENTIRE house so that computers will run our world. Probably the Professional Computer Geek gene he has. Kinda like I have a Counselor Save The World gene and am sure I can help every single person in need if I only try hard enough (and give up my personal life in the process). Still BigGuy is very slowly getting his wish. I now text people (which he giggles at). In fact I almost prefer to text because while it might take a few seconds more to do......I can be done as soon as the text goes through. No residual talking. Not that I don't like talking - many of my friend can attest to the fact that I can keep them on the phone for an hour easy (right SS & CB?). However, on my cell phone I really don't want to talk very long. I am still a reluctant cell phone user - if I am not at home I am doing something..........and it really isn't the best telephone time.

Now BigGuy has succeeded in getting a laptop into the house and causing me to start to really like it. He is even so sneaky that he insists this is MY laptop - for ME to use doing all the tasks that I take on - and HE will not use it much as he has a work laptop and our home computer. For whatever reason that makes me mildly uncomfortable. I have seen how the kids scramble to make certain no one touches their DS - will I become that way? Yikes.

So I have to admit - BigGuy got me excited about the laptop. We have had it about a week now and I have already taken it out on a work date. The kids had religion and while they were in class I sat in the church library and typed away at my CAC report. Then on another day I was able to take it outside while TheKing played in the backyard and work on questions for a chair position in a group I am in. Even now I am in the middle of the kitchen overseeing morning rush - where before I would have been too far removed from the kids to do this at the same time. I plan to take it out of town this weekend so I can look up directions if needed - and check facebook probably too (hey, just being honest - CB get a facebook account please). In fact now I am thinking of the MILLIONS of things I can use MY laptop for - in the kitchen with a recipe up that I can easily read and work on......on our trip to NewOrleans to look for fun things to do while BigGuy is at his conference......at our PTO meetings.....at CAC........maybe to read a book - ah scratch that, I love books too much to add to their disappearance.....

So BigGuy is winning me over to his techie ways and Blue (we named it) is a new part of the family.

It's My Birthday!

A Year of ME!! I started from Easter of Last Year because there really aren't that many pictures of me - and most of the ones that are of me are of me and a kid. So bonus for you - my kids are in a lot of these. Course I came to notice that there are a great deal fewer of Spidey this year because he has an aversion to the camera right now. If you take his picture it usually involves some sort of awful pose.

So this is me from April of last year to February of this new year. 1 Entire Year of Pictures of Me. And my goodness did my hair grow or what?

Remember when it was Cool to be Shirtless and Smoke a Cigar?

Let the Giggling Begin!

"Everyone Gets a Day Off" he said......

Lately I have been feeling VERY tired. This could be caused by several reasons:

A) BigGuy snores SO LOUD that he wakes me up several times a night - thus causing me to have interrupted sleep.
B) TheKing comes into my room and climbs into bed and begins to move around until he falls back asleep waking me up - thus causing me to have interrupted sleep.
C) I am eating horribly - thus causing me to have no energy and be tired a lot.
D) My schedule is kinda stressful with 2 Trivia Nights coming, a big family event at our house soon and the everyday crazy of life.
E) All of the above.

Yesterday my day was going relatively on schedule. Up - gym - home - laundry - computer work - lunch for TheKing - and then the computer went out and I couldn't do the bills. TheKing asked me if I would sit with him while he watched tv and I did - although since watching the same Blues Clues tapes we have had since SuperStar was a kid is kin to pulling my eyebrows out I opted to snuggle him reading a book while HE watched the Blues Clues tape.

And then I realized how tired I was. I literally dozed off a bit - which is soooooo not me.

When BigGuy came home he said he would take care of everything. His words were, "Everyone gets a day off now and then." The fact that I was sitting watching the Blues Clues tapes with TheKing alerted him to the fact that things were not normal for me. And as I said - he sweetly stepped up to take care of things. And in turn I sat.........I wasted 4 hours watching television and reading my book. Stopping to eat the pizza that he ordered out. And I totally enjoyed having no responsiblity.

Until I went to bed .............and saw that all the clothes I had sorted were still on the bed waiting to be put away. Sheesh. So quickly I put them away.

Then this morning I woke up with Spidey - early for some reason - and went down to make sure he was good and ate some breakfast before watching tv. That is when I saw the dirty dishes piled up. Then I noticed that there was stuff all over the counters and on the table and the floor still needed to be swept. And basically all the things that I did not do yesterday were waiting for me today.

Now how is that a day off? I think what I had was simply a stop at what I was doing carried into the next day with even more to do. So BigGuy and I talked. He admitted that perhaps he forgot to do the things that would have made my day a full day off - and promises that my next day off won't come with dirty dishes the following day.

I see the Self-Esteem escaping into vapor.............

The following is a letter I sent today to our regions Girl Scout Council. Although I have begun to see the door to Self-Esteem Crushing Years slowly opening - last night I watched and listened as the door began to show what is on the other side. Right now the room looks fairly bleak.....but with some hope. In sharing this letter I am not attempting to find solutions from you all (although please I welcome them) - more I am just sharing where we (SuperStar and I - BigGuy too) are in the process of raising kiddo's. Some parts are hilarious and some parts are kinda saddish.

Hi Ladies -

Last night I came upon SuperStar crying in bed. Apparently that day she had been having a conversation with some kids at her school about the "Food Chain Order" in their school. One girl listed the girls who are at the top of the food chain - the boy listed the boys - and then they listed themselves and others at the bottom of the food chain. And they said that is just the way that it is. SuperStar didn't say where she was listed - although I know most of the after school activities she does are with the girls who were listed high - and then one of her best friends was a girl who listed herself as at the bottom. My guess is she views herself in the middle somewhere.

Anyway, we talked about this. She is more often finding that she tries to entertain others to "fit in" with them and due to it is starting to lose herself and lose her comfort (self esteem) with herself. We talked about how when you have to pretend to be someone you aren't comfortable being - you also tend to feel uncomfortable with who you are. I explained to her that the one thing Facebook has taught me is that all the people that I thought were "better then" me in high school and on the high end of the "Food Chain" were apparently thinking the same thing about me - that I was cooler then them and more popular. That everyone is trying to fit in and in working so hard to do so they are making themselves feel crazy and not good enough. So we talked about how important it is to be comfortable with who you are first - and then find friends who love that person - and that if you find yourself trying hard to change to be part of a group, most likely that is the wrong group to be in.

Still not really buying it - I had Andersen rank herself on a scale of 1-10. She scored herself a 5. We then took our cat, Barkley, and I gave her all of SuperStar's achievements and shortcomings and had Andersen rank our cat. Barkley scored a 9. Then SuperStar smiled, giggled and things were better.

Now why do I tell you all this? Well through the conversation Andersen said that a few of the girls who consider themselves on the lower end of the "Food Chain" are saying that this is their last year for Girl Scouts. That when they go into Jr. High they will be leaving the troop because it will no longer be cool to be a Girl Scout and they will need to join other things to keep from being considered "uncool".

I remember talking about this at some point - maybe it was when I was asked to come up with thoughts during that round table meeting thing last year where I sat in the audience with all of you as the board members discussed plans. But I do remember talking about things that you hoped to develop to get older girls excited about Girl Scouts. I also know that hearing it from me is important - but hearing it from an outside source that will get them excited is even better.

So is there anything? Is there a troop of older girls who might take my 5th graders to do something - show them that it can be cool to continue to be a Girl Scout in Jr. & Sr. High? Talk about how the achievements will carry over into the college careers - business careers and other areas?

I know it is bound to happen that as the girls get more options of things to do in the upper grades time will be stretched and things will change - girls will drop out. But I want them to drop out because they have found other interests they love and want to do - not because they think they will be branded with a Scarlet "GS" and considered a dork for life. Can you all help our troop in this?

Thanks -
HalfPint

Like I said - some parts are kinda "saddish". SuperStar is going to be a winner no matter which path she chooses, but sometimes I worry that BigGuy and I will miss the signs of the Self-Esteem Crushing that happens for both young girls and young boys. Fortunately I caught this one.......but what about next time? What about when they stop sharing stuff? Yikes I don't even want to think about all that!