Just before school started I began going to a pilates class at the gym. This of course distressed Spidey a great deal because it meant an extra 30 minutes at the gym for him in the Kids Fun room (which he does not find fun at all). SuperStar didn't mind because we had been made aware of the fact that as a 10 year old she was allowed free reign of the gym after 10am. So I could sign her into the Kids Fun program and also out at 10am and then she could play basketball, run track, volleyball or swim - whatever she wanted - which of course is also why Spidey began to DREAD going to the gym. So I reasoned with Spidey that he wanted to go do ALL the MILLIONS of things that are on his "fun" list and when we do those things I am sitting and waiting for him - and even if I exercised for 2 hours M, T, W, Th & F - I still wouldn't use up as many sitting and waiting minutes from him as he does from me.
Of course this never helped to keep him from going "not the gym" - to which I eventually reminded him that he was the one who told his friend (in my ear shot) that I had to take pills because I was fat (which isn't true - I mean that I take pills, because I don't - I am simply fat without help of pills) and that because he brought this to my attention I was now taking better care of myself and going to the gym to do a pilates class was part of that. Then I think I added something about "aren't you proud of me?" to which of course he had to say "yes" and all was done.................until the next time I was dragging him to the gym.
Swear to goodness one day I found him calling neighbor friends parents to see if he could stay with them so he didn't have to go to the gym with us!! Had to give him creativity points for that.
But this blog is not about why Spidey hates the gym..............it is about things that I have learned in Pilates class - which I wish I could say are many - but really it isn't -
I have Learned -
* That people with rear ends at least as large as mine and larger - should not wear tight yoga pants that have horizontal stripes - NOT EVER - because it is okay looking until you bend over and then it just looks awful!! I mean seriously.......I am there to relax and those giant wide stripes are very distracting and cause me stress.......so I promise never to wear horizontal striped pants (unless I become a stick - which isn't likely because I really do love ice cream).
* That doing a pilates Roll Over is very very cool (pictured above) - but really it has no bearing in the world. I mean let's be realistic......I am excited that I can now lay flat on the ground and then - keeping my legs straight - can lift my legs up and over touching the floor above my head (well.......hovering just above touching - give me another month and maybe I can touch), but what bearing does that have? Yes, it is helping my lower back by stretching...........however it is kinda like really hard math in highschool - great you have that ability.....but later who cares that you can lift your rear end up and over your head? I mean really?
* That you should not do any pilates or yoga with socks on. I know that people do it all the time - for the many years I have taken this type of class (on and off) I see those men and women with their socks on - and then I watch them eventually go crashing into the floor onto their ass (if they are lucky - one guy smashed into his face - ouch!).
* That passing gas while twisted up in a funny position can not be done delicately or quietly - not that this has happened to me personally - but people talk (and giggle - I mean sheesh we are all grown up!).
* That Plank sucks. Really - front plank, backward plank, side planks - they totally and absolutely do - but I still love doing them because they make my shoulders and arms stronger.
* That instructors have to be funny - if they aren't then you get bored - and they CAN NOT play Kenny G elevator music to motivate you - I never went back to that class again............made my stomach hurt.
* And that all those silly things aside..........pilates and yoga really really are good for your body.....I can tell an emence difference between doing them and not.
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