Something Serious that is Under Addressed

I have been thinking about this for a week now. At first I thought I might NOT discuss it............because a little bit this will affect how people look at BigGuy. He has this "illness" if you will. And he is a good person so I don't want people to walk away from this entry and think, "Gosh I never knew that about him......HalfPint really has her work cut out.....hope their marriage can survive that."

Clearly it is understood that this problem that I am about to name publicly is really no surprise to anyone..........most women are aware of it...........and most men are too - although they seldom confront it.....address it......or deal with it. Men just tend to carry it around with them....letting it rear its ugly head every so often and ignoring that it exists - even when it is right there sitting on the couch with them watching the baseball game.

What is the illness? Well..........please don't judge BigGuy........please take this knowledge and the story of example that follows and look around........help other men by confronting them............

It is PMS.

No, really, stop giggling.......nonononono....not THAT PMS.......PMS for guys.......

Proud Man Syndrome..........ah ha now you see.........but still don't understand completely? Well....it is something like this.....

Proud Man Syndrome can make a beautiful family fun day turn into a nightmare. Proud Man Syndrome can make a drive on vacation turn into a prolonged torture trip - heck, it can make a drive anywhere you don't know the directions to a torture trip. Proud Man Syndrome can make lawn work turn into costly and crabby.....well...this is what I mean....

When we purchased our home we got the Riding Lawn Mower (this is where you envision a riding lawn mower (dark green, don't picture red) and it is fuzzy with that pretty screen thing photographers can do and you hear angels in the background go "aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh"). BigGuy LOVED LOVED LOVED that we got the riding lawn mower in our house deal. I don't think this is because we were getting about an acre of land that he needed to mow..............I do believe this was directly related to PMS = Proud Man Syndrome.

That first summer I would hear him in the garage "showing our visiting guests around" his 3 Car Garage - heated with a ceiling fan (do you see the PMS oozing?) - and they would get to the riding lawn mower........"Wow you have a riding lawn mower" the guest would say.........."Yeah, we got that in the deal with the house. It's pretty nice." - which was code for "I am really cool when I am mowing the lawn now.........not like that tiny yard that I mowed in the city." And then he would offer them a beer from the fridge that was also in the garage....and they would (if it was a male guest) stand around and talk yard tools. (insert total yawn here).

As the summer went on - and I watched BigGuy as he relished mowing the lawn - although he SAID how tedious and hard it was - I decided I needed to try mowing...only he wouldn't let me..........ALL the GUYS around here mow the lawns (I mean in direct visual view of our yard - not the entire 'hood - as I see women all the time mowing). But I left the riding mower to the man with PMS - because I knew that my being seen mowing the lawn was somehow DIRECTLY linked to him (in his head) being viewed differently by the neighbor riding lawn mower men.

Proud Man Syndrome.

Side note to that - last fall BigGuy hurt his back doing something silly (wish I could remember, love the few silly stories I get on him) and I ended up having to mow the lawn because he couldn't sit in the seat - and he couldn't stand that our yard was getting so high and the neighbor lawn gods might view him as inept in the lawn length department = PMS. And it did happen - the guys (after I finished the lawn) made a comment to BigGuy about why I was mowing..............only somehow it turned out to be something like, "Hey, how did you GET your wife to mow the lawn?" as if I had to be tricked because women hate mowing so much. And I swear to goodness that there was some High Fiving going on between then as they discussed how smart BigGuy was to figure out how to get me on the riding lawn mower to do his work. Whatever -

You know what I did learn? That it isn't at all hard!!! That he is fibbing about the extreme difficulty tending our yard is. That he is actually successfully dodging having to deal with the kids..........sneaky guy.

But we are hear to talk about PMS.

Within the past 3 weeks we have had another illness in the family - sick riding lawn mower illness. Apparently there is some belt or something loose that needs fixing. BigGuy has worked on it, but not been able to fix it. BigGuy has owned a riding lawn mower for 2 years. He looks on the Internet to figure it out - and I must give him props - he has fixed a number of mechanical things doing this - he is good at fixing. However, when he can't fix something - he is not good at ASKING FOR HELP.

Proud Man Syndrome.

There are ooodles of men around here who have grown up on farms and fixed tractors, mowers, enginey things.........and BigGuy has access to all of them. But he refuses to ask them.........PMS..........I have discussed our mower problems with others and 3 wives and 2 men have said they could help....or their husbands could. I have passed this info to BigGuy.........who sits on it.....mumbles something about "yeah, I will have to call them." and never does. And our lawn grows. BigGuy spent 3 hours push mowing our lawn one night - in the dark by the end - and he continues to not ask for help.

Finally.........because there are a million things to do when he does have time.....I hired a company to mow Just The Outside Lawn (which is the bulk) so that this weekend he could have time to work on the mower and now worry about the mowing. This was a gift - because goodness knows there were more interesting things that could have been done with that money. He did not see this as a gift. He freaked at first - because of PMS - this was a direct shot at his Proud Man.

What is a family to do? I mean, he did get over it......he seems even to be enjoying the fact that he doesn't have to mow.......however, he is not fixing the mower yet......but I am sure he is thinking that it is only Saturday and he really does need to practice his Rock Band guitar skills.............

We need to band together and find a pill for Proud Man Syndrome.........don't let this illness continue to go under the radar.........Call It Out.....