Connections

This picture is from a trip to Peoria last year. We were headed to the O's - right about this time of year - for a bday party when a huge storm hit our path. Nothing crazy, but forceful enough that it scared the buggers out of Spidey (and he is already afraid of storms). So he asked me to hold his hand. And I did. And TheKing did too. And they were comforted. Because of the Connection. This is what I mean by the title - Connections. Not networking, but reaching out.

Last night I was talking to a friend from school that I haven't talked to for - gosh - forever. Those of you who know me well are very aware that I have few boundaries when it comes to asking you things about your life - what makes you who you are - and so on. As we talked - and he answered questions (which he gave me full permission to ask) - he made the comment that he didn't understand why he was allowing himself to share so much. That he normall doesn't. So I asked about that - what would hold a person back from sharing what they are thinking or how they feel about things - anything. He said something totally simple - No One Ever Asks.

And he is right.

Why don't we ask? Why don't we make that Connection to other people? We are too busy? We are too burdened by our own STUFF that we can't be bothered by other people's stuff?

Then after talking to him I sat with me - because everyone else was asleep - or at least pretending to be (ah hem - ). I have tons of Connections - but not tons of Connections that really stop to ask me what is up with me. How am I. I mean I DO have those people who will ask me that - but I don't have that many who really want to sit and listen to the answer. Does that make sense?

How many of those people do we get? There are days when I feel like I could use a million of these people just to regain my sanity. And then there are days when just one will do. How many can I ask for without feeling very greedy? How wrong is it for me to want some of my Connections to be More There? And is it wrong for me to tell them that I am demanding it (so you know that isn't about BigGuy - least not this month).

In the past year we know 7 couples who have been touched by divorce. SEVEN. 2 of those couples sought counseling - 1 of those couples sought it simply to figure out how to be friends because their change was not one that could recover the marriage. That means that 1 out of 6 of our friends marriages were not taken to the doctor.

Was that a Connection Snap?

Then there are my computer connections. I have some wonderful computer friends. You know who you are.........I linked you or I play FarmTown with you or I send you messages........if I don't then you ain't one of them (so you better work harder - see? was that mean?). But my computer friends can't hug me. They can't sit out at a sidewalk cafe and have a few drinks until we are giggly and start to talk goof about our kids and hubbies - and then leave not judging one another for the crap we have said about our marriages or parents (because those were our 2 top topics). They can send me drinks on facebook. That is nice - or a cow for my farm. And they can have deep and meaningful conversations that brighten my day. But it sometimes isn't the same.

Why am I thinking this stuff? Probably because the Shams were here for 24 hours - and MO showed up with her 4 kids in tow - and 24 hours just ain't enough. Just ain't.

Yes, I have good friends here. I do. CB, her hubby who brings me mint because I mention it (thank you TB) - CM, MC and a few more being built up. And with a few I am getting to the point that I can talk smack about my kids and hubby and they know I love them more then is possible when they walk away.

So I have no room to complain. So I won't.

I am very very lucky. Really really really.