Slipping on the 3rd

BigGuy and I often tell TheKing that since he is the 3rd child it is not easy to fool us. He is our tantrum thrower. The olders didn't do the tantrum thing - much - they weren't perfect, but they also didn't throw big giant tantrums with screaming and hitting. TheKing doesn't hit a ton - usually it is a very baby like slap - but the intent to maim someone is in his eyes when he does it. And the whole thing is completely for our benefit. When he was little (like he is soooo big now at 3) and he got upset he used to drop to the floor, look up to make sure we were watching, and then bang his head on the ground (usually just 2 or 3 times). Our STL house had vinyl tile and carpet everywhere - so this never did too much in the way of hurting him. Then we moved. Our current house has hard ceramic tile in the kitchen and wood floors everywhere else on the first floor. After we moved - and TheKing threw a fit he would follow the same routine - drop to the floor, look up at us to make sure we were watching and then bang his head. Only it hurt - and then he was crying for a reason (albeit one he imposed upon himself) and then we would hold him and comfort him because there was a welt rising on his forehead. This happened maybe 5 times and then his routine changed. The new routine followed - He would throw a tantrum, drop to the floor, look up to make sure we were watching, look down to see where he was on the floor, move himself over to the nearest throw rug (most fits happen in the kitchen) and THEN look at us again to make sure we were still watching (we were giggling by this point) and FINALLY start to hit his head on the floor (very gently). After the first time - when we stopped giggling - we told him we were very impressed he figured out how to keep himself from getting hurt. Not being the result he was looking for he changed his routine on future tantrums.

Now - with the Olders it was a bit different. SuperStar was our Starter Kid. We rushed to most things she did and tried to "reason" with her. Gently, sweetly, using all our child psych skills. With Spidey it started to morph. With him we picked what we rushed to. If I was doing something and it was a fabricated "need" then he waited - something SuperStar never would have had to do. Spidey also got away with a few things because of our attentive absence - like when he called 911 because the Barney episode that day taught them how to call for emergencies. Cops showed up - BigGuy answered the door - they offered their assistance in response to the 911 call - BigGuy was baffled - Spidey sat on the staircase looking through the support beams completely denying any involvement. So we slipped with him a bit.

With TheKing we find we are slipping even more. None of the Olders ever got to do this........



At least not that I can remember. Maybe BigGuy remembers different.
* We never let them (at 3 years old) have a TV for any amount of time in their bedroom.
* We never let them watch TV right before they took a nap or went to bed because this might happen and sound sleep does not occur while a TV is on.
* We certainly NEVER let them sit (or lay) this CLOSE to a TV - ever.
* In general SuperStar did not watch TV without an adult with her when she was 3 yrs old (in general - meaning MOST of the time) - Spidey did though. > < span>r>
Yet here sleeps our 3rd child. The child that BigGuy and I let have the tiny VCR tape playing TV (we bought it before there were travel DVD players for long trips with SuperStar) in his room last weekend because his sister and brother both got to watch a movie in their room - and - let's be COMPLETELY HONEST - we have realized that we can buy ourselves a few minutes of "peace to focus" when all 3 children are occupied. This particular morning I had a deadline on something I needed to do - and watching the Teletubbies in his room quietly for a minute helped me accomplish that goal. No, I am not watching with him (although I have seen this video a bazillion times over the past 9 years). Yes, he is FAR too close to the screen. And Yes, he did start watching 30 minutes before nap time - so I knew this was a possibility. I found him at nap time - took the pic - turned off the TV - put him to bed - and then kicked myself in the butt for lazy parenting.

Will I do this again? Being COMPLETELY HONEST? Yep. Now the real question is - given that he is a 3rd child and we have had 9 years to become good parents - given that we would most likely never have let SuperStar do this - might have let Spidey do this - obviously let TheKing do this - do at least make certain the videos are G rated and family viewed -

Are we:
a) Good Parents
b) Realistic Parents
c) Inexcusable Parents
d) Lazy Parents
e) Smart Parents
f) All of the Above (I will give you all an out choice - because at one time or another we have fit every answer)