Why We Shouldn't Teach Our Children Things.....

So yesterday evening Spidey, TheKing and I are tooling around in Office Max. Weird picture? Not used to stories that include me anywhere but a bathroom, kids game, school or grocery store? Well there you go - I also hang out in Office supply stores. Actually I love places like that - so many different tools to organize yourself with. Aaaahhhh..........the thought of it actually relaxes the tension in my spine. Seriously. I may not be organized anymore, but my body actually prefers it - so even though we (my body and I - you know some days my body is the only sensible other person in my life - yes, maybe I will be the crazy older person later talking to myself - my body - but at least I will have someone when the kids are in college and BigGuy finally does stop talking) have adjusted to the chaos that surrounds us on a moment to moment basis - we still prefer to have organization and cleanliness (Sunny has started shedding - aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!).

Okay - so yesterday - before swim lessons (BigGuy and SuperStar were at her softball practice) - we went to Office Max to get pretty paper to print the Girl Scout Celebration Programs. I stick TheKing in the basket seat (because we only had a set amount of time and I didn't want to use it up chasing him) - then Spidey begged to sit in the back of the basket (this actually helps to calm down TheKing because he sees it as Spidey being caged too) so in jumped Spidey. The two of them were like a tag team comedy duo. The only thing missing were rubber chickens, a giant horn to honk and a cream pie. Fortunately for me I am immune to the comedic efforts of the duo - unfortunately for others they aren't. Fortunately for me it was dinner hour and there were not as many customers (I mean they were so giggly and loud - all happy like - that the woman checking ppl out at the front (and we were at the middle right of the store) could hear these two and was openly chuckling at them and their non-sense) - unfortunately for others the only other customers they were in the same isle as us.

Now..........what does this have to do with teaching children things? Well.......just as we were about to leave (you always think you are going to get by without anything embarassing happening - and then just as you are about to escape something embarassing happens - unless it is a clothing thing, then the embarassing things happens at the very beginning of whatever you are doing so you have to sit in the soiled clothing for the whole event) the two start making these really loud barn yard animals noises. There are people in the paper isle with us - the perfect people for this - a woman who looks like she teaches Sunday School with a religious vigor that only a woman who never had children, but does have an extreme impatience gene would have - and a man who looks like he loves the comedic talents of the comedy team I am pushing around - but primarily he loves them because he isn't with them (that kinda of "glad it's you and not me" look parents give other parents). Back to the boys - they are "Mooooing" and "Baaaaahing" (really really loud - I mean head back so they can suck in enough air to really let a barn yard noise go) and giggling like crazy - which is whipping TheKing up into a frenzy.

And I make the comment, "Why did I ever have kids in the first place?"

And Spidey says - really loud - "You had kids because you had SEX with Dad, Mom. You know - the thing that you told me about that we aren't supposed to talk about with kids at school. Oh, I already said it though." then he adds, "But we aren't at school."

Spinster Sunday School Lady looks at us with a disapproval glance that I think she truly must practice - and Glad It's You and Not Me Man starts to giggle - which attracts Spinster Sunday School Ladies ire and let's me off the hook long enough to leave the isle and head to the check out.

Really what Spidey said wasn't so bad. He was right. I had kids because of sex with BigGuy. But maybe we should have taught him about it when he was old enough to be mortified everytime he thought about it. You know - that icky mortification that comes with picturing your parents together.................that might have saved Spinster Sunday School Ladies ears.